$97 · back in 48 hours
THE PASS.
Send me your menu, your last ten posts, and ten photos off your phone. I'll tell you which three dishes belong on camera and why, what's wrong with the photos you're already taking, and exactly what to post for the next thirty days.
Written about your restaurant, by someone who cooked for a living — fine dining, a golf course kitchen, fast casual, catering. Not a template with your name at the top.
Request your read — $97If it doesn't give you three things you can use this week, you pay nothing.
What lands in your inbox
SIX THINGS.
The menu read
Every dish scored against the six signals. The three that belong on camera, ranked, with the specific reason each one works.
The honest cut
Which dishes will never film well, and why — so you stop wasting shots on them.
The photo teardown
What's specifically wrong with the photos you're already taking. Named, per photo, fixable this week.
Thirty days of posts
Twelve posts built on your actual dishes, with the shot and the line for each one.
Your opening lines
The first line for each of your three hero dishes. The line decides whether anyone sees the second.
A check-in at day thirty
You send what you posted. I tell you what to fix. Nobody else sells this part, and it's the part that matters.
How the scoring works
THE SIX SIGNALS.
Every dish on your menu gets scored out of six. Five or six is a hero — worth a real ad. Three or four supports a weekly post. Two or below will never carry a video, and knowing that saves you hours of shooting.
PULL
Cheese, dough, anything that stretches. The most reliable three seconds in food video.
STEAM
Anything that leaves the kitchen hot — and only reads on camera when the light is behind it.
CUT
An inside worth seeing. Runny yolk, layers, a medium-rare centre, a filled bun.
POUR
Sauce, syrup, consommé, coffee over ice. Motion you control and can repeat.
CRUNCH
You can hear it. Audio is half of video and almost nobody uses it.
BREAK
One bright element against a dark plate. Colour contrast is what stops a thumb.
How it works
You send three things
Your menu, your Instagram handle, and ten photos off your phone. The ones you'd never post are the most useful.
I read it
Sixty to ninety minutes with your menu and your feed. Every dish scored, every photo looked at.
48 hours
The document lands in your inbox. Then thirty days later I check in on what you actually posted.
$97.
And if you decide you'd rather I just made the ad — your $97 comes off a First Spread booked within thirty days. So for anyone who goes that route, this was free.
Request your read — $97I do five of these a week. That's a real limit, not a sales line — each one is an hour and a half of actual work.